Just like riding a bike.

Riding a bike, that is.

My nephew and his fiancee found a bike on the curb set to go to the garbage collection the next morning, didn't want it, and gave it to me! I've been wanting a bicycle for about a year or so now but wasn't sure if I'd actually ride it enough to warrant purchasing one. Free bike. Done.

This afternoon while I'd been working, I kept peering out the window to see if it would be nice enough for a maiden voyage on my bicycle. It drizzled a bit around quitting time, but I'd gone to Target for a few new t-shirts and when I arrived home, it was chilly but decent.

Now, I knew beforehand that there were a few logistical issues with the bike. The seat and handlebars were both definitely not on the factory model. There also may have been something up with the pedals. My nephew tried to lower the seat a smidgen for me but when I sat on the seat, I was pedaling near my ears. That can't be good for the knees. So then we put the seat back up (Don't worry, it's mostly safe. I can reach the ground with my toes.) and it was kind of a stretch to reach the handlebars. Good thing I naturally have very long arms. There was also an issue with the braking system/back tire in that either the tire was hideously overinflated for no good reason or there was something wrong with the brakes that only allow for enough contact to stop the brake when the tire is inflated enough to reach it. Whew. If you were rolling the bike down the drive before you hop on, you'd notice the brakes catch in an odd way and the tire stop rotating completely, but I was really hoping it would resolve itself once I got going with enough velocity.

One more count against me, as if Frankenbike wasn't enough. I hadn't ridden a bike in probably 15-16 years. I'm trying to remember when I decided my pink and grey Huffy wasn't cool anymore. Could I have been as old as 15? As far as I recall, I did a lot of unnecessary walking in my pre-licensed years, thinking it would be far better accepted by my peers if I arrived late than on a pink and grey Huffy ten-speed.

Trying to muster some confidence, I skip-rolled Frankenbike to the street (I'm not starting off going over curbs; I'm not crazy), awkwardly threw my leg over a too-high bar and seat, and started pedaling.

Then came the first moments of OH MY GOD, WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BIKE? No wonder it was in the garbage, it's garbage! And CHEESES SLICED, it is going to kill me! as I wobbled precariously and trying not to pedal too fast but enough to stay upright. The alignment is terrible, the brakes a joke, the rack and pinion steering . . . oh, well, you get the picture. But did I stop? Oh, no. I wasn't sure if it was because the bike was really a lost-cause heap of metal or if I had simply lost my proficiency during my 16 year hiatus.

Just to the end of the block, and back. Don't want my neighbors to think I can't ride a bike.

But by the time I'd gotten down there, I was a little more comfortable on it. Before I knew it, I'd been around the different parts of my subdivision and the one over. At first I was convinced there was something horribly amiss in the steering hardware; I couldn't turn. A few more blocks, and I started shifting my weight properly. I was curving gracefully instead of putting one foot down as a fulcrum.

Doing well now, I welcomed the wind in my face and enjoyed snippets of suburban life as I watched neighbors grilling, setting dining room tables (I tried not to look in the houses, really . . . and I've got a bridge to sell if you believe that one), mowing lawns, a group of neighborhood boys playing basketball in the street . . . and it was just fun and exhilarating. However, I knew my muscles would make me pay tomorrow, so I rolled on home after about 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, I still can't tell if the mechanics are actually faulty on the bike. My inclination would assume YES, because who would put a perfectly working bicycle in the trash? And I don't know if I made natural compensations for the bike or my ability made that big of improvement in such a short time. What I need to do is borrow a fully-functioning bike and see how it rides compared to my Frankenbike. For now, I can take a spin around the neighborhood free of charge, so that's good enough.

Without further ado, Frankenbike:

Look how low those handles are compared to the seat! I will probably buy a new bicycle if I take up the sport with any regularity.